Have you ever been shocked, hurt and disappointed because you learned about a competitor, former employer or colleague who unfairly trashed you? If you haven’t, then you’re a rare exception!
How do you respond? Why do people do this? Let’s start with the latter. People who actively engage in trash talk actually are afraid of what you are able to accomplish. They are afraid that you’ll succeed. So start by taking it as a compliment! Also people who engage in trash talk are adding no value to their customer or their employer. It is political, mean spirited and the trash talker desires to hurt you, not help their customer or employer.
So, how do you respond? 99.9% do not respond at all. Trash talking almost always back fires on the trash talker. They look petty and small in the eyes of the person they are spouting off to. That person doesn’t have a dog in the fight and doesn’t really want to be involved. I’ve seen this again and again, yet trash talkers rarely learn this lesson. Therefore, just let it go. It can be emotionally hard to do, but 99.9% of the time, that is the smart move. If someone approaches you and says that so and so said this and that about you, simply respond with, “It’s unfortunate to see someone behave that way; we had a legitimate difference of opinion and nothing more than that.” Then redirect the conversation and move on.
What about the 0.1% of the time? This occurs when the trash talker crosses the legal line and defames and slanders you by spreading verifiable lies. A person’s negative opinion of you or difference of opinion on a business decision, even if wholly wrong, does not cross the legal line. Only provable lies do. In that case you need to consider if you should either simply provide the correct information to the recipient in a professional, calm manner or if you should involve an attorney. I suggest only involving an attorney if the liable/slander will have a material impact on your business, earnings, career or reputation in the community. Involving an attorney because the only damage done is your hurt feelings is a waste of money and risks escalating the situation.
I recently had the unfortunate experience where a competitor was trash talking me. At first, I was offend, upset, hurt, angry and confused as to why they would spin such ridiculous story. It was very hard, but I heeded my own advice and just let it go. I kept a watch from a distance to assure things didn’t cross the legal line, but held my tongue and ignored it. I debated with myself every day for a week whether I should do something about it. I’m glad I didn’t. In this case both a supplier and a customer who heard the disparaging information came back and expressed extreme reservations about the trash talker and how it made them not trust the trash talker. All I had to say was, “I really appreciate doing business with people like you.” In the final analysis, the trash talkers achieve the exact opposite of what they set out to achieve. Always take the high road. It isn’t just smart business; it will make you a happier person too.
